Yes, Yes, I know the title is pretty out there.  It makes people want to read the post.  I guess that means it is a good title.  Of course you can argue over what liberal-conservative mean in Christianity or in the churches of Christ, and of course that is fruitless.  So let us move on to the point of the post.  The liberals claim to be right on numerous topics, sometimes they are right and sometimes they are wrong.  I never liked it when one party claims all truth, and never believed it.  But on this one issue, or point, the good conservative brothers and sisters are right on.  Therefore, I stand with the conservatives.

What are they right about?  It is a big one on this issue.  Something that we do not typically address and if we do, we sometimes do not address it in the best fashion.  In fact, the conservative brothers do, but maybe sometimes in some old school terminology.  We have called it “why I am a member of the churches of Christ,” “the distinctive nature of the church,” and “the identifying marks of the church.”  And sometimes we have caused people to throw up with this verbiage.  But we are not wrong in highlighting the special nature of the churches of Christ.  Yes, our faith is built on Jesus Christ, but we also belong to his church.  This is special and must not be forgotten.  As a church we stand for something that is special, we have particular tastes and traditions.  We have a special culture in the church.  The conservatives are being healthy in creating an identity for the next generation.  There is nothing wrong in creating loyalty to the churches of Christ.  In a culture where young people are searching for identity, some people are afraid to highlight the identifying features of the church.  Distinctiveness creates identity.  So yes, yes, I am proud to belong to the churches of Christ.  This provides more identity for me.  It helps create who I am.

This is the second installment of the popular book called “QBQ” which means “the question behind the question.”  The book takes the accountability discipline a step further with this title.  The book deals with specific areas like “learning, ownership, creativity, service, and trust.”  These are all important aspects in helping a person improve an organization or themselves.  Once again the book is quick, but not shallow.  It is packed full of useful information for everyone.  I like this material so much that I am going to incorporate it into a Bible class.  The key is to not just buy this book, but buy “QBQ” first then continue the discipline with this title.  You will be a more mature individual which will be equipped to handle the difficult circumstances in life.

A Elder has made me cry.  Members have yelled at me in my home.  Deacons have rebuked me for reaching out to inner-city children.  And not one of these people are an enemy to me or I to them.  The elder that caused me to cry in the lobby area is a dear friend and supporter of me.  The member that “let me have it” in my home is a friend who I did visiting with on numerous occasions.  He cried when I left the work I was at.  The deacon became one of my biggest fans during my time at that church.

Why have so many negative times turned into so many positive times?  Because this is the will of God.  God does not want Christian relationships to end on a sore note.

So how do you turn a negative interaction into a positive one.  Here are three ways that might work.

1. Look for how you might have caused this?  Yes, you can blame them, but this will not restore the relationship.  There is always something that you could have done differently that might have helped.  Be humble, and be first to eat the humble pie.

2. Stay connected with the person.  In conflict, it is so easy for the “fight or flight” response to kick in.  You must not.  Stay in relationship, even though it is hard.  Hang in there.

3. Use Phil. 4:2-10 as your meditation text.  This is not a feel good section from Paul, it is a section on how to maintain the bond of unity.  Read it everyday during the conflict, until the conflict is resolved.

These are hard suggests to life by in the face of conflict.  But if you do, there will be a positive result as far as you are concerned.

This book is a interesting read if you are a chess fan.  There are a few insightful sections in the book, but the best parts are his stories about certain chess matches and events.  This book would not be highly interesting to someone who does enjoy chess.  Most of the material is in a chess format.  Also, the lessons that are given are from chess strategy.  I would recommend this to any chess fan, but the non chess player would not like this book.

Man struggles with two extremes in life.  Some men are given to control and other men are given to passivity.  Both of these extremes will cause problems in the church and in the home.  Some men prefer to control the family.  He is a dictator over his wife and children.  On the other hand, some men function with little power in the home.  He is not willing to fight for his position or his wife or his children.  He is a weak leader.  This causes problems because a man must have strength.  He provides stability for the church and home.  You must be willing to stand for right and stand against wrong.  You see these extremes in the home by a father that verbally or physically abuses his family.  He does not understand how to control his strength.  Everyone is afraid of him.  This is not strength but fear.  He is fearful of losing control because he is insecure of his place in the world.  Bu the man who cannot say “no” to his wife or children is just as insecure.  He struggles with leading people.  I am sure this sounds sexist to the modern world, but guys, be a man and lead.  And lead as Christ would have you to lead.  Understand the balance of strength and lead well.

I read a ton of books concerning congregational leadership and management.  All of the books I have read on this topic, this one is the best.  It was recommended by Everett Huffard.  I read this book for research into the dissertation I am writing.  This book is one of the best for an eldership, a deacon, and a minister.  It will help with any ministry or congregation.  The material is excellent and well developed.  There is so much great stuff that it is difficult to wrap it all up.  All I can say is “read the book.”  There is another title in this series called “leading the congregation.”  Anyway, for one of the best books for understanding and leading and helping a congregation to grow in number and in influence, this is the title to purchase.

Charity was going out with two of the spiritual giants in the congregation Tuesday morning.  These two ladies are some of the most spiritual and uplifting women in the congregation.  They drank coffee and was filled with the Spirit.  During this morning, I took the kids to the local pool.  It is at the gym which I attend.  And guess what I saw?

First of all, I saw a dad that felt like he should be in the office doing some work for the Lord.  He had to write sermons, he had to focus on the spiritual, he had to encourage people, and he had to be busy in the ministry.  Someone might think he was taking it easy.  Someone might think that he was taking some time off.

Second of all, I saw a dad enjoying his time with his kids.  He was in the pool, laughing with his little girl and boy.  His kids were hanging off of him.  His boy was a big rhino.  His little girl was a mermaid.  He was a father.

Third of all, I saw a father and a husband see this as an inconvenience at the beginning but realized this was the best use of his time.  He still got his sermon done, he still had people over for supper that night, and he did not work 14 hours again in the name of ministry.  He allowed his wife to be uplifted and encouraged by godly women.  He connected with his kids.

Finally I saw a little boy when asked what was the best part in going to the pool state “daddy was there.”  I saw a little girl while laying down with her at night rise up and ask “daddy, can you take us to the pool every Tuesday morning?”  Then I saw a dad that was broken in heart.  He realized what true ministry is.

I was reading a book about ministers, well about pastors, and you all know about those terms.  In the book, it was talking about ministers having an assigned or special parking spot.  Some of the preachers wanted to give this practice up but some in the congregation were opposed to this.  The reasoning was that the people liked to drive by to see if the minister was there.  Also, some of the staff opposed this change because they liked knowing if the preacher was in or not.  On the other hand, the congregation wanted to change this custom but the ministers were against this.  It was a status symbol.  It represented authority and power.

Being a minister in the churches of Christ is a strange paradox sometimes.  On the one hand, you have no authority and you hate it.  On the other hand, you have no authority and you love it.  I think every minister has felt this feeling before.  You are not in charge and it drives you crazy.  You cannot tell anyone to do anything.  The elders have authority, the deacons have authority, even the members have authority over certain aspects, but you as a minister, you have none.  Of course, you have second chair authority, the influence authority, but you have no established authority in the congregation.  You cannot change a thing unless someone says “yes.”  This has caused a lot of ministers to go crazy.

On the other hand, you have no authority and love it.  I am sure every minister has enjoyed the “buck not stopping with them.”  You are not responsible, it was not your choice, you have played “good guy, bad elder” over and over again in the ministry.  It is really nice not to have all this authority on your shoulders.  You do not have to focus on a bunch of stuff taking place in the congregation.  You have enjoyed the “I see how you are feeling, you are totally opposed to how they are feeling, but you state, I will have to ask the elders first.”  You know the elders are going to say no and you are happy.  Let the elders take the blame.  Sometimes not having authority is a great blessing.

Before we fight for the parking spot, make sure you really want to park in it.

Well, I have been playing chess again.  This is always a fun time.  It seems that I go on chess kicks for a time and than stop for a while.  This time I made it up to 1638 before being defeated.  Not bad, but not really playing at that level yet.  Anyway, this is a good book on some of the tactics one can use in chess.  It is a simple book that would be good for a 1200 to 1400 hundred player.  Everything is clear with good practice cases.  I know most of the readers are excited about this review so try to control yourself.  If you are just starting your chess life, this is a good book to help you improve.  It was a nice read.

The church exists by mission as fire exists by burning.  To understand the church’s mission, there are three foundational questions the congregation must first ask.  Peter F. Drucker, was the first to suggest these questions.  He states that “these questions are so rarely asked–at least in a clear and sharp form–and so rarely given adequate study and thought, is perhaps the most important single cause of organizational failure.”  Therefore, a congregation must explore these questions intentionally.

The first question is “Who are we?”  The problem is that often a congregation believes that this question is a waste of time.  People automatically assume they know the answer.  After visiting a congregation, often you will know what the answer is.  One friend of mine visited a congregation that is known for having the oldest building in Colorado.  Some congregations would answer this question like, “we are the congregation that has such and such family.”  After this question is asked, the follow question must be “is this who we want to be?”  Finally, the last question in this process would be “what do others  say we are?”  There can be rhetoric of what we want to be, but often what we are is how we are perceived.  We might say we are a loving congregation but what is experienced is a congregation that is loving to one another and not to newcomers.

The second question is “what is our business?”  This seems like another simplistic answer, but in reality this is a complex question.  Often the church answers this question from the inside-out instead of outside-in.  The users define the business.  The recipient must be satisfied with the organization’s product or service.  The man who fell among thieves on the road fully understood this when he experienced the “mission” of the Good Samaritan in contrast to the “mission” of the priest and Levite.  Jesus’ mission was outside of himself.  As with Jesus, the very existence of the church is not for itself; its mission lies in reaching out to those who need good news, and a message of hope.

The third question is “how do we get it done?”  The church stands in the middle of God’s eternal purposes and human needs.  There is the timeless principles that must influence specific circumstances.  A mission statement that details the timeless without the timely will accomplish little in reality.  A example of a blended mission statement is “God’s love is for all humanity so we will support orphans in this community.”  Of course, this is not a great statement, it took two seconds to process, but it highlights the nature of mission.  What is the timeless and how will this transcend the community?

These questions must be asked in a deep way before a congregation will move forward.  Assuming the answer will assume ignorance is correct.