Musings on Spiritual Matters

This process of communication in the above story illustrates “indirect communication.” Instead of going directly to the individual with the difficulty, the person tells another. A more well-known name for this process of communication is called “gossip.” Instead of addressing the issue in a personal and straightforward manner, the person brings in another party to the problem. The technical term for this sinful communication is called “triangulation.” The word triangulation comes from the field of trigonometry. This term refers to a method of surveying a region by dividing it into triangles. An unknown point can be determined by measuring distances between two known points. Relational triangulation occurs when a believer who has a problem with another believer talks to a third party about the problem before talking to the person in question. This is triangulation because it brings in a third party in a matter that is between just two. Triangulation is sinful because of Matthew 18:15 “And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.” The Bible states that when a brother has knowledge of an offense against another brother, he is to go to that person quickly and directly, without talking to another person about the brother about the issue. Failure to go to the brother first about the problem is direct disobedience to the gospel command. If the person goes to someone else first instead of the person that is directly involved in the issue, then there has been committed two sins against him or her. The first sin is that the person has kept the other from knowing there is a problem and robbed him of the opportunity to ask for forgiveness. The second sin is that the person has talked behind the other party’s back. This inappropriate form of communication will always make the problem worse and not better. The first step of any conflict is to go directly to the individual with one’s concerns.

Related posts:

1. Inappropriate Indirect Communication in Congregations-4
2. Inappropriate Indirect Communication in Congregations–1
3. Inappropriate Indirect Communication–Excuses
4. The Future of the Largest Congregations
5. Unhealthy Congregations

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This entry was posted by Matthew on Monday, February 2nd, 2009 at 11:42 am and is filed under Church News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.