Loading ...Overcoming Cynical Attitudes
Recently, I was talking with a friend of mine who resigned from a large congregation in the church. Resigned was the nice way of stating that he was pushed out of the congregation. Resigning is the nice way of choosing the time to leave instead of being forced to leave in the future. As we were discussing the process of his feelings leading up to his resignation, the apparent pattern was predictable. The systemic pressures, the sabotage from leadership, the secret meetings, and the grapevine campaigns against him were common. This is the natural pattern for situations like this. I was not aware of any of the inner workings of the congregation, but I detailed the process to him completely. I have spent much of my adult life studying systems theory. We were both saddened by the predictable process that the congregation went through.
As a minister or leader in the church matures, sees the patterns of congregational life repeat itself over and over again, one can fall into the sin of cynicism. A defeatism attitude of been there, seen that mindset can develop. As a church leader grows in wisdom, a cynical attitude can develop instead of optimistic faith. All of us must continue to hold fast to the faith that God can end the story in a new and exciting way in the future.
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How sad but how true it is. Sorry to hear that happened to your friend. To stop this cycle someone must step to the plate and stop the skidding process. Thank you Matthew for writing this post.
Having been through that very process I can offer sympathy for your friend. I can’t speak for him but for me the hurt was worse than having a death of a close member of the family. It is a process that will continue until elders start acting like elders and support the preacher and refuse to countenance the “undercurrent” that develops after a preacher has been at a place for a while. They sucumb to the old idea of “a new broom sweeps clean” forgetting the old broom knows where the dirt is and is often the reason preacher is unceremoniously discharged. And yes, it is very easy to develop a cynical and even bitter attitude about such matters we just have to keep looking to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.
Both of these comments are excellent. Leon, I think most congregations do not realize how much this hurts a minister. I have never experienced this myself, but most ministers that have still talk about the pain like it happened yesterday. Thank you for putting flesh on the feelings that a minister has.
It is sad, but also true, that as long as congregations hire men, they will also let them go… it is a business arrangement. Not entirely biblical in it’s foundations, but we have decided that it is the way of our world.
I wonder, just how many preachers we would still have if there was no ‘paying them’ like any other kind of job? Years gone by, I have known of men like my grandfather, men who worked full time jobs and still preached, taught, and worked closely with the church locally.
We have given in to the hire/fire routine just by making it into a job. You cannot have one without the other.
The brotherhood is full of great, spiritual, leaders and ministers who have been run off multiple times in their Christian lives… yet they stand tall and continue the fight.
It is just as full of men who gave up, left the ministry and often the faith, because their fragile ego’s won’t allow them to be turned aside so.
How many times was Christ rejected? My advice to all who have suffered this bit of indignation is to get up, keep serving and loving, and look to another place to do God’s will. I have a friend who is considering a return to the pulpit, one who was cast aside and hurt deeply. I pray for him, as I pray about the addiction and serious issues that he is still battling.
I discussed him months ago… he is a recovering alcoholic, but has a great mind and a renewed desire to preach and teach again. Much of it is up to him, he is being upfront with his addiction with the places he has applied and it has come back to him in a negative way in a few instances. Others, however, are interested in him and are in the process of hearing him and talking with him about possibly returning to his calling.
To all I say this… seek God and His will in all that you do. Bless you in your work at Waynesboro Matthew.
Jimbo
Those secret meetings are the tough ones to deal with. But you get over them and go on and hope the former elders do not do that with other preachers.
It is obvious that both good and bad happen when humans are involved, whether they be preachers, elders, or just the “people in the pews.” I don’t want to make excuses for the wrong that is done. However, it is easy to throw out generalized accusatory reasons for why people become jaded with churches, ministry, and even God without knowing all of the facts. One of the lessons we learn from the story of Job is that we don’t know everything and thus we should be cautious in making absolute judgments based on our own limited understanding and experience — lest we be like Job and his friends and speak without knowledge (38.2) and what is not right (42.7-8).
Rex
Jim, you are right, we need to pick ourselves up and continue with the ministry. One congregation’s reject is another congregation’s saint.